Mea Culpa, my fault of my own, Confession of a couch potato;why I fail my civic duty to vote !
I boycott civic elections because photo I D requirement is discriminatory while self aware of its rationalization. Others receive it as valid reason. If truth be told, it's what we couch potatoes do. A way of life and world view shared by majority of electorate, voter rationalization, love of convenience, seduced by digit ease. Phenomenon no isolated couch potato able to resist.
We the potatoes of the couch are eager to participate in any and all civic elections; proviso being, not required to exit couch and assured send button access. It's that send button and ease of effort we refuse to ignore. Digital revolution being Nirvana for ordinary potato with two good working thumbs; these digits exercise social intercourse as well access limitless entertainment, go figure ! What a country !
We potatoes of the couch do vote "Voice", "Dancing with the Stars" , etc.. Why can't civic elections be entertaining and convenient?
This confession seeks no absolution but begs the question, if we can put a man on the moon then why can't we provide a send button for couch potatoes so we may perform our civic duty and vote? Technological means are available. Voter conspiracy suppression? One is not required to stand to give it some reasoned thought!
If confession is good for the sole then the couch is the place to be !
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Sunday, July 12, 2015
JUST FOOLING AT THE BEACH - BY J. ELIJAH BRAY
It's summer in The ocean State so my thoughts turn to the shore. I'm working on strategies to improve the whole "beach experience". Don't get me wrong, I love going to the beach,but it can have its pitfalls.
I love our great public beaches. You meet a wonderful cross section of the population. You have young girls with thongs so small they'd make a gynecologist blush.
Private beaches limit membership to only those folks like themselves.I have nothing against affluent accountants and lawyers, I just prefer not spending July 4th surrounded by rich tight asses wearing white socks and sandals.
I vow this summer to wear adequate sunscreen. Past years of indiscretion regarding the sun's power have taken its toll. Some days I've left the beach with a moisture content slightly higher than a potato chip.
Another summer resolution is to stop sucking in my gut when I walk to the snack bar. It only makes me lightheaded and it's extremely difficult to order food while holding my breath. As my wife reminds me,"You're not fooling anybody".
Another tip- when you first arrive at the beach open your cooler and lightly sprinkle your food with sand. This will eliminate the frustration of futilely trying to keep the sandwiches,salad and grapes sand free. Besides, the grit in your teeth when eating is all part of the beach experience.
And don't hide your drink in one of those foam rubber holders. It's none of your neighbors damn business if happy hours starts at ten o'clock. They all know your sipping a cold Bud lite inside the Pepsi foam holder. You're not fooling anybody.
We thought it would be exciting to visit a nudist beach(mid-life crisis item #54).The experience was a naked disaster. Being Catholic I worried that rubbing sunscreen below my navel was, at least, a venial sin. And if your wife applies sunscreen on you,is that considered foreplay?
I didn't know if the nudist beach regulars could tell this was my first time.Snickers and whispers only confirmed my fear that you can always spot the new guy. Also,novices make no trips to the snack bar. Such a journey would require standing up. So I remained seated all day eating my sandy grapes.
But all in all a summer day at Rhody beaches is time well spent. And when you return to work on Monday just tell your co-workers you had a 'nice' weekend. They can tell by your sunburned neck, blistering Bozo nose and chaffed walk (from leftover sand) what kind of weekend you really had. Walk away slowly,Don't forget that sand is even more abrasive than your co-workers.
I love our great public beaches. You meet a wonderful cross section of the population. You have young girls with thongs so small they'd make a gynecologist blush.
Private beaches limit membership to only those folks like themselves.I have nothing against affluent accountants and lawyers, I just prefer not spending July 4th surrounded by rich tight asses wearing white socks and sandals.
I vow this summer to wear adequate sunscreen. Past years of indiscretion regarding the sun's power have taken its toll. Some days I've left the beach with a moisture content slightly higher than a potato chip.
Another summer resolution is to stop sucking in my gut when I walk to the snack bar. It only makes me lightheaded and it's extremely difficult to order food while holding my breath. As my wife reminds me,"You're not fooling anybody".
Another tip- when you first arrive at the beach open your cooler and lightly sprinkle your food with sand. This will eliminate the frustration of futilely trying to keep the sandwiches,salad and grapes sand free. Besides, the grit in your teeth when eating is all part of the beach experience.
And don't hide your drink in one of those foam rubber holders. It's none of your neighbors damn business if happy hours starts at ten o'clock. They all know your sipping a cold Bud lite inside the Pepsi foam holder. You're not fooling anybody.
We thought it would be exciting to visit a nudist beach(mid-life crisis item #54).The experience was a naked disaster. Being Catholic I worried that rubbing sunscreen below my navel was, at least, a venial sin. And if your wife applies sunscreen on you,is that considered foreplay?
I didn't know if the nudist beach regulars could tell this was my first time.Snickers and whispers only confirmed my fear that you can always spot the new guy. Also,novices make no trips to the snack bar. Such a journey would require standing up. So I remained seated all day eating my sandy grapes.
But all in all a summer day at Rhody beaches is time well spent. And when you return to work on Monday just tell your co-workers you had a 'nice' weekend. They can tell by your sunburned neck, blistering Bozo nose and chaffed walk (from leftover sand) what kind of weekend you really had. Walk away slowly,Don't forget that sand is even more abrasive than your co-workers.
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